College Bathrooms Rant

Dorm bathrooms, in my experience, have been the most uncomfortable aspect of college living. Sharing such limited facilities among so many people - incidentally, people who don't seem to give a damn about cleanliness - can turn into quite a disaster. Forget the awkwardness of sharing a bathroom with complete strangers; that's bad enough, but their hygiene might turn your stomach. 

Urine, Urine, Everywhere

How do you feel about crusty urine? Maybe this is just a personal preference, but I'm not a big fan. Lots of college students must be, though, because they seem to enjoy decorating the place with it. A splatter here, a splatter there, maybe ornament it with a hair or two...how hard is it to wipe up your own piss? If your janitorial visits are infrequent, expect crusty urine to be quite an issue (who wants to sit on that?)

Showers Are for Cleaning

...Right? I thought so too. It turns out - hold your breath - that they can also be used for pissing, spitting up mucus, etc. It all just goes down the drain anyway. Well, after a week or so of 10+ people doing this, you begin to wonder why you expect to get clean in the shower. Sandals are an absolute must, because there is a hefty layer of slime underfoot. Add in a nice fellow who decides to go #2 in the nearby stall during your shower, and you'll leave feeling dirtier than when you went in.

Sharing Is Caring

Fortunately, many college students nowadays don't seem interested in strolling around the bathroom in the nude. But every now and then you get some weird guy who just doesn't seem to mind it, and then things get pretty awkward. Some older dorms may even have gang showers - a frightening accommodation for those of us who didn't grow up in the 1940s.

So, What Can I Do?

Well, as far as showering, you'll just have to find a time when people aren't around. I've found that showering at night (around 8 or 9 PM) is a good way to avoid the rush. Most people shower when they wake up (anywhere from 9 AM to 3 PM, honestly), and some others shower before going out at night (around 11), so evening is the time of choice.

As far as your bathroom needs are concerned, use your resources! Your dorm bathroom certainly isn't the only one on campus, and you may have noted that the bathrooms in academic buildings are way, way nicer and cleaner (funny how that works). Got some time after your 10 AM class? Swing by the bathroom in the math building. We always think to avoid public bathrooms, but when all of your options qualify as "public", you might as well find the cleanest ones!

There is no good solution to dealing with other people's filth. It's never your responsibility to clean up, for sure - nor should it be the janitor's, I suppose - and you can't expect to change your hallmates. Instead, learn the times and places where bathrooms are the cleanest and most unoccupied. When you settle into a nice, locking bathroom in the basement of some obscure chem lab, you will be downright proud of yourself.